springtime

First off, I realize I have the same pose in all the pictures...

Today Finn is 5 weeks old! And we have been BUSY!!!!!

In a little over one month, I had a baby, a best friend Amy got married, my great grandmother passed away, my oldest friends came for a special visit on Easter, Avery had his senior promand another best friend, Malina, got married yesterday! Those are some pretty eventful days!



Mom

I have, hands down, the BEST mother in the world.
Ladies, when you have a baby, and you are planning for someone to help after you go home...make sure your mom is there if possible!
First off, I don't take criticism well. or "advice". So when I didn't know how to do something correctly or I was learning it for the first time, I'm glad Mom was the one to teach me how to do it.
Take bathtime for example. For his first bath, Mom said she was going to start some water in the sink. She called me over to "feel if it was too hot".
It was. So I said, oh yeah add some cold to it. I'm pretty sure she was testing me. But see? taught me that lesson, and here I was thinking I caught the water temperature in time all by myself. I asked her if she did it on purpose. She said she'll never tell.
She taught me a lot of other things too. Just little things, too many to remember. And Ben did too. He is in school to become a nurse, so he had a little bit more book knowledge on babies. :)

Now, in the hospital I had to get up and use the bathroom. With a c-section, its not fun at all. The getting out of bed part isn't that bad. Its the sitting down on the toilet and wiping your butt that sucks. TMI, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't physically bend and wipe. So, at one point, my angel of a Mom WIPED MY BUTT.
Here I am 24 years old, wiping my own kids booty, and she's doing the same!
That alone gives her mom of the year award.
And she not only did it in the hospital, but when I got home and I started the normal bleeding (gushing is more like it) she cleaned me up! And the mess it made on the way to the bathroom at 7 in the morning.

She never had to spend the night but I'm sure she would have if I had asked her to.

My parents (dad too!) have been so much help. I thought I was going to have other people helping too, but I simply cannot allow it to keep myself sane. So Mom and Dad have pretty much been the main help. They followed us home from the hospital and have been giving up their own time to help me out at night since Ben works nights. Most of the time they just get to hold and love on Finn while I get a shower or, on occasion, sleep.  But they also help with dishes and always bring me supper when they come over. Sometimes they come get me (because I can't drive yet) and I go to their house for awhile.

If I didn't already know I am blessed to have such a fantastic Mom, Ben told me one night while we were talking about what kind of parents we wanted to be, that he wanted me to be like my Mom.
I'll try, but those are some pretty big shoes to fill!!!

Gotta think of some kick ass mother's and Father's day gifts this year...got some ideas a'brewin!!

PT 3.....

The rest of the hospital stay was pretty much the same things as the first day.
Meds
Breastfeeding attempts.
Meds.
Walking the halls.
Meds.
Breastfeeding.

The BFing issue was HUGE.
I was so out of it, and had SO much unwanted stress and sadness, that I really had a lot of frustration with breastfeeding. And it didn't help that only one nurse was able to help me the whole time I was there. The hospital leaves much to be desired in the lactation help department...

We finished out our stay and we were discharged Friday night.
When we got married, Ben carried me into our house after the wedding, and he carried Finn in the door too. Somewhere there are pictures I will upload of us coming home. I think there are pics of that and his nursery debut on Mom's camera.

Here are some pics from the first few days at home:

That's about all I have for y'all without giving too many personal details and memories.
There are so many precious memories that Ben and I don't want the world to know, but as much as I can, I will post things.
More later!

The BIG day!!! Pt.2

So The rest of Finn's birth story is going to leave out a lot.
A lot of bad memories that Ben and I are trying our best to block out. It makes me feel so stupid that I spent so much time trying to build a relationship with his family for the sake of my child, for months and it was literally destroyed in seconds and lasted the whole time we were in the hospital. It put a lot of stress on us in the first few days as new parents and we are having a very hard time forgiving them for ruining such a beautiful experience. So from here on out, Ben and I are giving you the birth story we want to remember.
Don't get me wrong. There are still a lot of happy memories!!!

So I left off at the at the part where I met Finn. I just remember repeating "He's huge!!"

So at some point while Dr was fixing me up (which by the way, this Dr supposedly always gives her patients staples, which leave some pretty bad scars. But she gave me stitches that go under the skin and dissolve, so I have minimal scarring. Actually it looks quite fabulous!) Ben took Finn to the nursery. I was so out of it that I don't even remember him being gone. He came back and I was wheeled to recovery.
Sidenote: It was so nice to be wheeled through the hallways, and pass by the group of familiar faces looking in the nursery. I picked out Mom first, then Grandma. They waved and smiled. :) It was just nice to see them after all that had happened in the surgery room.
I was in such a state that I asked Ben if he would stay with me in recovery instead of going to the nursery. Besides, our families were there to get pictures and videos. Since Ben works there in the surgery department, there was no problem with him sitting with me for what was supposed to be an hour until the spinal wore off.

Wellllllll, apparently they gave me extra spinal, or I just have a hard time with it wearing off, so I was in recovery for over 2 hours. I could leave when I could lift my leg.
So when I got to that point, the pain in my abdomen set in, and I got to press the special button to administer pain meds to myself.

I was wheeled to my room, snagged Mom on the way and was transferred to my bed. It hurt being jostled around. The nurse started the pitocin, to make my uterus contract back down to size, and THAT is when I experienced the most pain in my whole life. I was in so much pain, that when they brought Finn into the room for me to hold and Breastfeed (BF), I didn't even want to hold him. It hurt so much.

Finally after my meds really started kicking in, I held him and started BF-ing. Along with the contractions from the pitocin, the BFing added stronger contractions too, and I was just in so much pain that every picture of me at that moment will never see the light of day. It was awful.

My Mom was on one side and Ben on the other and I just remember gripping her hand so tight that she probably hated me.lol

The rest of the first day is a total blur.
From the pain meds, I was high as a kite.
I remember it being hard to talk. I felt like I was talking through a straw.
And everyone else knew it too. I had a few visitors that first day. I really didn't feel like visitors AT ALL. And in my head I was trying to remember to call a few people and just ask them to wait till the next day, but I was so out of it, and forgot. So Aunt Malina and Aunt Amy came by and loved on Finn.

They also brought a gift from Morgan, which was the most awesome gift that I, high as ever, could have received: A bag of assorted candies. Pretty much made my evening!
I decided that at that moment, i would bring candy to anyone in the hospital for anything.
We had a few other people stop by unexpectedly, and we just had to ask them to come back later, because I was just so out of it and still in crazy pain.

The first night was tough. Ben went home and slept for a few hours and Mom and Dad stayed with me.
And they got some Finn sugars, and listened to me talk some crazy talk.

I don't really remember much, but I remember asking half questions and talking about stuff I was thinking about. I was very confused. I talked to both of my brothers on the Phone and I have no memories of it. I told Thomas that the surgery was awesome and raved about the spinal. Avery called just to listen to my crazy talk, i think. Then the best thing that I don't remember was when I asked my dad to read the cards from Morgan and Gentry. He read them out loud and then I told him thank you, in the form of a children's prayer. I sang "Thank you father" and changed the lyrics from "...for our food.." to "for the card!.."
Wish I had it on video.
Ben returned and took out the birthday boy pin he bought for Finn and got this cute picture.
Mom and Dad left, and I was out for the night!

more coming....

The BIG Day!! part one

So as I have a newborn here next to me, I'm going to have to split Finn's birth story into parts.
Here's part one:

My surgery was scheduled for 9am.
We woke and I showered in this special body wash for surgery, and I got dressed in my shirt from Amy ha ha.
I was extremely nervous and a bit upset from the whole unexpected c-section situation, but I calmed down enough to be ok for awhile. I had never had surgery, not even minor. The absolute worst pain I've ever experienced was probably a bee sting or stomach ache. So the fact that I was going to have surgery AND be awake for it, completely freaked me out.
I wanted my Mom and Dad and Avery to go to the hospital with Ben and I, so we met them at their apartment and snagged some last minute pictures:

We headed to the hospital and when I signed in, it only took about 10 minutes for someone to come and get me and Ben and they took us to Labor and Delivery to wait. My case had been pushed back because of some emergencies, so we waited even longer.

Finally after a few hours of waiting, the surgery team came and introduced themselves.

Ben had the great opportunity to  handpick some of the team. Of course I had my regular Dr. And we were fortunate enough to have the anesthesiologist we wanted, and Ben asked his friends Heather and Grant to be the nurse and scrub tech. I felt so comfortable knowing some of these people prior to my pregnancy. It helped me calm down a lot.

The team wheeled me into the operating room a little before 12. Immediately the spinal was put into my back, which by the way, was the coolest thing I had ever experienced, medically speaking. As soon as it started to spread, which I could feel, by the way, I was layed down, Ben was let into the room and I  could feel the pressure of the c-section starting.

I layed there while Ben talked to me the whole time about things he loved about the pregnancy. I'm gonna go ahead and say that this was about the point when I realized I was AWAKE during surgery and I said, "Hey, you guys!"

"What's that?" the doctor said while still cutting my belly

"This is great! I don't feel shit!"

I remember everyone laughing.

The next thing I heard was the doctor saying "Oh my! This is a big boy!"

Then there was pressure on my tummy, someone said he was here, Ben looked around the sheet, and then I heard it:

the most amazing sound I have ever heard: Finn's first scream.

Everything after that was pretty much a blur until Ben brought Finn to me. I hadn't even noticed Ben wasn't next to me. I only know what he was doing from the pictures that a nurse took:

Finn is here!!!

Daddy cutting the cord

Daddy holding his baby

The first time I met him just for a few seconds.

As you can see here, my face is extremely swollen.

There are more pictures for my facebook friends, if they are interested in looking.

Part two is coming soon!

The Last two weeks

The last two weeks leading up to Finn's arrival were miserable.
I did have a baby shower on my last day of work that was great!

My wonderful coworkers got us the travel system off our registry, and a few other things we needed!
It was really sad to leave the Y, but I knew that I would be having my baby boy soon, and I needed to rest up before i did!

So I stayed home and rested, and it was good that I did, because I only got more miserable and swollen every day. I could not sleep unless I was extremely propped up in bed on a gazillion pillows, and my stomach hurt more and more. I lived in pajamas and a bath robe. I gained 6 pounds in the last week and the Dr thought most of it was swelling. So needless to say, I was ready to get this kid out!

Sunday after I quit the Y, I woke up and apparently had an allergic reaction to something in my sleep, and my throat was swelling. So out of concern for Finn and the pregnancy, I went to the ER and got a shot of benadryl and a steroid shot too.

I really haven't told too many people about the next few days, simply so I could have the last few days in peace without everyone worrying.

So hours after I was discharged from the ER I started having contractions. They got to be 5 minutes apart, so that next morning I went to Labor and delivery. The contractions were monitored for about two hours and they got as close as 4 minutes apart, and i was sent home to wait. By that evening the contractions weren't regular. The whole week was full of contractions but no progress. I even had my Doctor check me to see how dilated I was at my last appointment, and it was still 1cm, and with all the swelling in my stomach, the Dr ordered an ultrasound to be sure the baby wasn't too big, and that it was just swelling.

My due date came and went.

So the next Monday Ben and I went to the ultrasound appointment and I was completely shocked when the ultrasound showed that he was estimated to be 10 pounds 14 ounces, give or take a pound. I cried on the way out the door. I cried all the way to my Mom's job. And I cried while she and Ben tried to calm me down. I knew that with an estimate that big, even a pound off, meant that I probably wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth.
I put everything into this perfect plan for a vaginal birth. The option or likelihood of a c-section was so far back in my mind, that I was not prepared for it at all.

My next appointment was scheduled for Thursday, but Tuesday I went ahead and called the Dr and she agreed that it would be the safest for Finn and for me, and I could have the surgery on Wednesday morning. So an hour after I called her, I went in for pre-op. Ben started his maternity leave, and we informed everyone of the c-section, bought some gowns, and got last minute house things done and went to bed.

To be continued...